Prissy Girl's Guide to Camping Part 1

Now that the leaves are turning golden yellow and a slight chill has graced us with it's presence, I decided to post a summer camping entry. Actually, this has been written for some time now but the tardy post has no excuse. One could use the below words for winter camping, but why would you do that when you can get a hotel?

He's licensed.

Over the summer I went camping, in total, 6 glorious times…. I’ll just let that marinate for a second. For the last 15+ years I have drip dried, squatted, cat holed, Go Girl’d and used the ladies room up and down the North American Rockies. Camping is a big deal to me like Dennis Rodman wearing a dress, not really a shocker. But you get dirty. You chip your nails. You can’t take a daily shower. You may not have a flushable toilet. You have to work to stay warm. You have to fight camp smoke. And you have to do it all with a smile on your face otherwise you’ll be that girl. We all know who that is. The girl that ruins everyone’s fun. The girl who can’t take a joke. The girl who will most likely end up crying before the trip is done. I apologize, if you’re that girl, but everyone needs a wakeup call sometime. Having four older brothers, a step-dad who is very outdoorsy, a family cabin in South Park (Yes. Thee South Park) and numerous boyfriends that share the outdoor thrill, I have picked up a thing or two along the way. 



This is a little much, but you get the idea.

1st Thing I Picked Up- Bring Every Type of Weather Clothing

More commonly known as layering, this method has been a proven  life saver to us Prissy Girl’s, especially when traveling. Temperatures in mountain camping can reach to as low as 15 degrees (f) if not lower in the night time. Be prepared with a cute hoodie and/or windbreaker combo to block the cold and keep you warm. Don’t be fooled by beach camping either. If you decide to take a sunrise stroll, the mist from the sea makes you feel like a vegetable in the produce section at Safeway.

 

Wipe it real good.

2nd Thing I Picked Up- Southern Comfort Ain’t No Joke

Wet wipes are Gods gift to women campers. I prefer the bio-degradable kind from Coleman. They’re easy, bio-degradable (duh), and you can use them for anything. Plus, they do a nice job of freshening you up, even if you’re on your period. (Side Note: whatever you do, do not go camping while on your period. It can be done, but it’s not pleasant, really. Way less pleasant if you go to an area that doesn’t have facilities). As long as wet wipes, dry shampoo, deodorant, tooth brush and tooth paste are on your "to bring" list, you’ll be pretty set. Or, there's always Monkey Butt.

 

Beer pong, flip cup and roulette. Oh my!

3rd Thing I Picked Up- Bring Your Own Entertainment

You never realize it until you're packed up and away from common amenities but life can be pretty boring. This really isn't an issue when you're camping. Everything in the mountains/outdoors is more fresh and invigorating (only exception: incredibly humid climates). Card games are a blast especially when you turn them into a drinking game and have zero worries about getting home. (Another side note: I play card games of all variety. Honestly, its more about the company you keep than the game itself. For an exception see Cards Against Humanity). Other general past times are going hiking or taking a walkabout. You get to see sights that are unique in every way and are rarely seen by others. Even if you decide to go mountain biking, play Frisbee, drink, nap, watch a movie or show on your tablet/smart phone, you’ll still enjoy the hell outta it. I also like to bring my portable speakers for a little groove every now and then. And by now and then, I mean all the time.

 

Zombies. It could happen.

4th Thing I Picked Up- Prepare for as much as possible

Here is a bunch of shit you should bring: Bring a poncho and umbrella everywhere just in case of rain.  Bring actual hiking boots or a cute pair of kicks that have decent ankle support. Pack Bug-Off or, my fave, mosquito coils. Deets is effective, but I don’t like the way it feels on my skin. Always bring sunblock. If you’re closer to the sun, you’ll get burned more (just as a quick FYI). Also, you don’t realize how much you’re in the sun while camping til it’s too late. So, take care of your skin.

 

Apple: Eat me.

5th Thing I Picked Up- Don't forget to be/feel sexy

 If Eve did it, so can you. Sex while camping can be done in a tent, out in the woods, in the car, in a field, anywhere. I’ve done each place recently while camping. Depending on where you go, who you're with and how secluded the location is, you can turn your campsite into a nudist colony for the weekend. Fresh, crisp air on your skin is an amazing aphrodisiac. Beach sex is tricky as sand does get in your vagina. That’s a real thing and it does not turn into a pearl. Laying down a beach mat can help keep the area clear of abrasive materials, but it's not 100% sand proof. If you go with a group, nudity is probably not a good idea  so secret sexy behavior may need to be on the menu.

 

You don't have to take my word for it. I found this pic on Google.

6th Thing I Picked Up – Make It Great

Stick to your strengths as a Prissy Girl. If you like to cook, prepare the menu and learn how to cook over the campfire and grate (Here is starter camping recipe website). Trust me, you can make 5 course meals while camping. Including desserts (besides amazing s'mores). If you’re more athletic, I don’t need to tell you to take a hike. You’re probably already doing it. If you’re a puzzle master Prissy Girl or of the book persuasion, bring puzzles and books. If you’re a bit more Prissy, do everyone’s nails. Clean em, polish them, whatever. Whatever it is you enjoy on a daily basis doesn’t have to go away just because you are camping. You may even surprise yourself to how much you’ll enjoy the outdoors.

The bottom line is this, camping can be fun as long as you make it so. There's plenty to do, ways to stay clean, and you don't have to be Bear Grylls to survive.

 

 

Check the links below for my go to camping menu items:

Camping Donuts
Dutch Oven Peach Cobbler
Kabobs

 Side note: Prepare your food beforehand as much as possible.

Coming Soon(ish): Prissy Girl's Guide to the Stanley Cup

Prissy Girl's Guide to Stellar Summer Time Stargazing

So awesome for so many reasons.

For those of us prompt Prissy Girls, Spring this year is on our shit list as it slept through it's obnoxious alarm clock. Now that Spring is finally here, one thing is for sure... Summer is just down the street, past the stop sign and on the north east corner. One of my favorite perks of summer involves a warm evening that tuns into a pleasant night of stargazing. Toss in a fire pit and a few glasses, okay bottles, of wine, tilt your head back and the evening is yours to contemplate that inky black stuff suffering from a bedazzler attack. Lieutenant U'Hura isn't the only Prissy Girl who gets to be among the stars. To prevent us Prissy Girls from going into darkness, here are a few essential tips for stargazing.

Does this give anyone else vertigo?

1. Dumb it Down, Mr. Hawking.

The sky knows how big it is and the secrets it holds. Enjoy it first before you pull out the criticizing microscope.  There are 88 constellations to get to know and all can be determined with the use of these fine apps for your smart phone or tablet (iPhone, Android). While these apps are freaking awesome, I have a hard time using them when I want to feel more connected to the universe. I usually stick with maps that I've purchased from used book stores and the like. Removing Earth from the equation, there are 5 planets we can see from our solar system on a regular rotation. We can also see a few clusters, the ever alluring Milky Way, a spiral galaxy, a few falling stars and every once in a while a comet/ufo graces the night sky.

2. Try to Be Close Enough to Touch the Sky

For many common reasons finding a hill or a mountain is the best location for stargazing. There is less ambient light, less pollution, and less overall distractions. If you are in a painfully flat corner of the world, usually an hour or two of driving can get you to a clearing far from the city. Round up a few friends and have yourself a stargazing party. Living in Cow Town, USA, finding an area for excellent stargazing is as easy as putting on my house slippers and taking a few steps to my back yard. If all else fails, museums generally have star shows that are awesome in every meaning of the word.



I"m going to pimp out Blackmilk Clothing in blogs to come

3. Don't Forget the Material Things

You can have a great night of stargazing with just your eyes and a great hill. What if it gets a little more chilly than you thought or a few friends show up unexpectedly? Whats that term I use all the time? Oh yes, be prepared.

- A blanket is always welcome when the temp dips below 50 degrees or 70 degrees if you're like my sister. I recommend keeping a blanket in your car at all times.

- A telescope will be  a nice addition. With a cheap telescope, you can get an up close and personal look at the moon in all of its nakedness, and you'll be able to see the red of Mars.

- Libations are a basic supply for the summer (Skinny Girl Vodka or Wine). Wine brings out more of the philosopher Prissy Girl in me, but beer is cheap and less maintenance. I don't recommend high proof liquors for stargazing, especially if you had to drive to find your spot. As tempting as it may be, getting blitzed while tilting your head back spells headaches that turns to vomiting. Avoid that at all costs.

- Music follows me around as if I had bacon in my pocket. I usually include my iPod docking station on all summer night activities.

- Snacks are a must.

- Bug repellent is easy to not think about. Bring a citronella candle or wear a bug repellent bracelet (I used this brand for beach time stargazing and it was awesome). Nothing ruins a summer night like mosquitoes buzzing around threatening to make you itch for a few days.

Its not hard to have a good time stargazing. Especially after you've had a bbq and people are sticking around past 1am, turn it into a stargazing party. Amazing things happen when you bring out a telescope. The sky comes to life and all of the sudden that hidden wonder we all had as children peeks around the corner then puts its sticky paws on our walls to let us know its still there. All that it takes to know how small and unique you are, is to tilt your head back and smile.

Here' s lil electronic, galactic love from me to you:

 

Check the links for 2013 summer galactic events:

May 2013

Black Holes and Gas Clouds (Promise this is sky related)

Astronomy Calendar

Coming Soon: Prissy Girl's Guide to Camping

Premiere: Prissy Girl Icon

Lara Croft Beginnings: Infantile Badassery


That bow is fierce, giiiiiiirl.

For generations, centuries and decades, us Prissy Girl's had little choice in seeing our astounding heroine sisters dressed up in skin tight, breast bearing, leg showing, latex fashion faux pas. Wonder Woman's accessories are awesome without a doubt, but the costume is more patriotic transvestite and less Amazonian woman. Sure Halle Berry was ripped in Catwoman, but were the cut up leather pants necessary? Luckily for us, the team at Crystal Dynamics is ahead of the exploitation curve.

If you look closely you can see the tape.

Today the new Lara Croft: Tomb Raider hit the shelves in badass, bowhunting glory. Set on a seemingly desserted island consumed with peril, Lara Croft takes us on a journey that we can actually relate to without double Ds bounding into every frame. Her outfit does not have shiny bracelets, cut up leather, bursting cleavage and daisy dukes. The focus remains on the plot and growth of Lara Croft rather than eye candy, which isn't always a necessity to be entertaining... so they say.

Catniss Everdene on Crack

The harmonic tune between capturing the badass and beauty of Lara Croft is enjoyable from the trailers, demos, and posters. You can taste the dread before you even play the game, bringing a whole new element to the table. I can only be excited for the journey this game can take us down. And if you're new to video gaming, this sets the bar pretty high.

Story lines are becoming ever more prominent in the video game industry. Perhaps the reputation of Grand Theft Auto was too much for the entertainment industry to bear and decided to leave the hardcore gore to the movies that last for only 2 hours instead of days. So much the better. There are better alternatives like first person shooter and racing games. We can connect with the characters and have a real experience, which at a price of about $60, the games better take D batteries.



Bringing class to the console.

If you are new to the gaming world or a bit intimidated by Xbox, check out my previous blog "Prissy Girl's Guide to Video Games Part 1" and see how easy video games actually are. Whether you are elite or n00b status, Lara Croft is an excellent game for us Prissy Girl's to get our feet wet.

 For an extra prissy twist, check out Prissy Girl on Pinterest for some Tomb Raider party ideas including the Tomb Raider drink and cookies. If there's any woman that can make me feel like I belong in the kitchen, it's Lara Croft. I'll leave the adventuring and gun play to her. This will be a great game to get together with your girlfriends and dominate.

Tomb Raider Trailer:

Will the real Lara Croft please stand up?
 First!
Second!
Jolie!
Extra!

Prissy Girl's Guide to the In-Between Valentines

To Booty Call or to Not Booty Call? The Prissy Girls Guide to a New Relationship Valentine's Day



Cupid vs Al Capone results

How Cliche. A girls guide to Valentine's Day. This post can be seen 42.5 miles away (68.3 Kilometers). This day of lovers was born from martyrdom, raised in back door romances and immortalized for Al Capone and Cupid. With such a reputation, how does one stack up? And, what if, the man of the hour hasn't even been around for a full rotation? Is a nice, expensive dinner too much? Should we get a new negligee for a booty call? So we, In-Between Prissy Girls, don't drink the poinson due to short sightedness, here are a few ideas to keep us in the 'whatever works' zone this Valentine's Day.

Wisdom from the most unlikely places.

First things first, you will have no worries as long as you follow what you want to do. If you want to get him a nice watch and not expect anything in return, get him one. If you want to have a nice dinner because you love swordish, then have a nice dinner. But... if you don't want to do anything except spend some tme with him, you may need a back up gift just in case he gets you one.

1. Movies

Best looking ugly guy I have ever seen

This year is very kind for in-betweeners. For one, James Bond: Skyfall came out on blu-ray this Tuesday. This is an awesome gift for yourself and for the man in your life. Imagine meeting up with him and he has earrings, flowers, or a gift card and you pull out James Bond...No contest. You win that gift-off for sure. For another, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and Mama scary movies are out this February. Knowing these movies times might save your hind from embarrassment or awkwardness this Valentine's weekend.

2. Gift Cards 

Someone is very proud of their ugly sweater.

I am a huge fan of gift cards. Don't try to guess what size sweater I wear and include a receipt. If its not ugly, its the wrong size and all you've done is limit my spending. I know the thought should count, but sentimental value doesn't hold much water with me. So for a safe bet, gift cards are awesome. I would recommend getting Amazon, Starbucks, ITunes, or Best Buy gift cards.  Couple this with a funny card and viola. You have an awesome, inexpensive back up gift that you can use yourself in case you don't end up exchanging gifts.

3. Activities

So this is what Molly Ringwald is up to.

Going to a local show is awesome (tickets are cheap, if not free at a bar) and there's a lot less pressure to focus on each other. Not only that, dancing halps us Prissy Girls know what we're working with physically, if we don't know already. Another fun activity that takes the pressure off but also leaves opportunity for some alone time is  Lazer Tag. Nothing really beats dominating a course in a rain of lazer beams. You can also show your sporty competitive side if it regularily hidden.

Cupid is kind of a god. Sorry, Capone.

The biggest tip is to not fret about V-day activites for your new relationship. You're always out to have fun and no one says Valentine's Day is the milestone for determining the boundaries of your relationship. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be prepared, however. With more women taking over the reins of our own lives, knowing what we want is  ever important. Enjoy spending time with your special someone this Valentines Day and how long they've been that special someone doesn't matter.

Check the links for Valentine's Day History

Will you be my valentine?

Even Cupid had a weird relationship.

Al Capone goes for what he wants.

Coming soon: Prissy Girl Icon: Lara Croft

Prissy Girl's Guide to NFL Playoffs 2013

Is there more to American football than beefy guys in tights? Lets find out!



Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.



Squeeze squeeze!

 



Squeeze!

Squeeze!

Mini squeeze

 

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeze!

Double squeeze.

Plop.



I could post these pics all day long, but alas, there is content. Now that the National Football League has come up for air from a floundering start to the season, the playoffs are in full swing and a sight to see among other things... By now the hardcore football fans show up and mostly show-off their knowledge of stats and how they think the playoffs will play out. To help us Prissy Girl's feel like we're not in ancient Sumeria, here is a (hopefully) comprehensive guide to the NFL Playoffs of 2013.

Here is where it all blossoms from.

For one, it's always a trip to have the playoffs at the beginning of a new year. I had to switch up the thought process and realize, yes, the NFL Playoffs begin with the new year even though the regular season was the previous year. Gotcha. No Problem. But what does "seed" mean? Perhaps I should start from the beginning.

Sumerian cuneiform  for "Superbowl"

The American NFL is compiled of 32 teams. These 32 teams battle it out to win the coveted Superbowl Championship title and a huge ass diamond ring the size of my big toe. The teams are broken up into two sets of 16. These are called conferences. Cleverly, they are named American Football Conference (AFC for short) and National Football Conference (NFC).

I thought the answer was 42?

 Each conference is then even futher apportioned into 4 divisions. These divisions are dubbed North, South, East, and West to keep everything less confusing. Keeping with lucky number 4, the 16 teams in the conference are evenly distributed to each division so a total of 4 teams are in either the North division, South division, East and West.  Usually the teams are put in a division that matches where they play regionally.

Regional hate has never looked so beautiful.

After the regular season, 12 teams from the entire NFL have proven themselves to be the better players and proceed to eliminate each other one by one until the last tightly clad team standing is declared the victor. To be one of these 12 teams, you must be the winner of your division.

"Winning is everything." - Feline Marshall

Six teams from each conference (AFC and NFC) are selected to make up the lucky 12. Since there are four divisions in each conference, the leaders of each divisions get an automatic spot in the playoffs. Then, each of the teams are ranked based on percentages and this ranking is called "seeding." This can be sticky as if there are two really great teams in the same division, only one gets to go, but with the "wild card" rule, both may get a chance to compete in the superbowl.  With 4 playoff spots already claimed by the leaders of each division, the next two teams with a valuable win-loss record get to be in the playoffs.

Kings. They're WILD!

Now, here comes the fun part. The teams battle it out bracket style in a winner take all elimination. The first weekend is dubbed "Wild Card" weekend in which the wild card ticket holders compete against the 3rd and 4th seeds. The winner of these games then go against the 1st and 2nd seed for a place in the conference championship. The two remaining teams in the conference hike, punt, pass and tackle their way to win the conference title.

Each conference follows the  same structure with two teams left in the NFL, but only one can win. In struts the Superbowl. In all of it's commercial and half-time glory, the Superbolw has remained the staple of winter joy in America. A fat man in a jolly red suit doesn't even stack up to the tight-wearing athletes and hard hitting joy.

This won't go down easy.

So far the playoffs have been surprising, heart breaking and knightly. I can only expect the same from the "big-game." I might snek in a few hot wings and nachos. For some extra entertainment, this years half time show is courtesy of Beyonce (post Blue Ivy) as well as some very funny commercials. Regardless, us Prissy Girl's can have a great time watching the game even without understaing how the teams got there.  Check the links below for some funny superbowl commercials.

Face-a-licious.

Who could forget the PuppyBowl:

Coming Soon: Prissy Girl's Guide to the International Auto Show 2013

Prissy Girl's Guide to Go Go Gadgets 2012

Prissy Girl's Guide to Gadgets 2012



Who needs electronics?



            My closest friends wouldn’t describe me as a gadgety person. In the last 10 years I have had two phones and the same old laptop since high school. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has been the happy owner of two lap tops, a tablet, and a few smart phones in the last three years. Maybe it’s because secretly (or overtly) every man wishes they were Batman or James Bond taking out villains, bedding women and doing super spy stuff. Then reality jerks them back only to tell them "Hey. You're not an orphan billionaire."

 

Leg up.

Fight scenes and storylines aside, James Bond and Batman are badass because these tormented fellows have been portrayed as superheroes by the likes of Sean Connery, Val Kilmer, Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney, Daniel Craig and Christian Bale. Whether it’s a 3 piece suit or bat costume, sexy is sexy. To help us Prissy Girls get a leg up on gadgets and the men who buy them, here is a top ten list of gadgets for 2012.

(Side note: Because computers, smart phones, ebooks, and apple products are so in our face, I've decided to not include them and go a bit more quirky route).

 

That's right. It even pulls my finger.

 #1 Motorola Motoactv

            I enjoy running. Nothing says good morning like the sound of crunching sand and leaves under my feet as the sun slowly wakes up over the horizon. Because I love running, the Motorola Motoactv speaks to me (imagine the voice of the Kool-Aid pitcher with a bit of Peter-Pan). This awesome piece of workout attire provides tunes and blue tooth capabilities on my arm, which means that I can keep my cell phone and iPod at home without feeling naked or like I can’t get in touch with someone if I need to. Along with playing tunes and recommending playlists, this grandiose timepiece tracks your physical fitness goals. Which is awesome when I want to feel bad about my progress. Sure it’s large and in your face, but I wouldn’t wear it on a date or to a company dinner. It’s water proof and sweat resistance nature further solidifies this technical nugget as a must have for the fitness conscious Prissy Girl.

That was a good drum break.

#2 Turntable ION iLP (a not so dead conveyor)

If you live life according to Beck, having two turntables and a microphone is where its at. And honestly, I have to agree. Because of the turntable we have been able to produce synthesizers, baselines and even further advances in musical technology that I have yet to discover. Besides, about 99.2% of people think music sounds better on vinyl (I totally made up that figure, but it sounds good). This featured ION iLP, combines old with the new allowing you to convert vinyl to your iPod. Perhaps one of the few versatile electronics that actually works with Apple products. In that spirit, click the link for a few modern twists on the classic turntables for the musically gifted Prissy Girl.

Don't know why I'm adding a caption. The sticker says it all.

#3 Camelbak All Clear

I have an old school Camelbak with a hose leading from a pouch and delivers delicious liquid into my pie hole to quench my thirst.  This camelback has been with me on many adventures and nights out (camelbaks are awesome for pre-gaming). With this in mind, it hurts to think of upgrading it to the totally awesome purification water bottle. This Camelbak All Clear uses UV rays to purify almost all water. Don’t even think/joke about purifying your waste in the hardest of times. That’s just gross and it won't work. This is even a great option for work as it purifies tap water as well as clear natural water sources. For us outdoorsy Prissy Girls, this is a must have for the trail. 

 

Even if I wanted to hear you, I can't

#4 Coverage Headrockers ®

Whenever I see someone walking around with full coverage head phones, I can't help but think of Spaceballs when Princess Vespa removes her braid ear muffs.  Its a shame most people look ridiculous when they wear full coverage headphones as it is a bit over the top. This is a bit shameful as I'm definitely from the all over ear cover headphones and hip huggers generation. I was happy when head phones upgraded from tiny ear buds to padded ear muffs. These highlighted blingphones are sure to get the point across "You like music." I haven't found a way yet to prevent headphone head, but check the link for options that can double up as a hairband.

The pic says it all!

 #5 Parrot AR Drone 2.0

Now this little gadget is for the still young at heart Prissy Girl. Remote control cars and helicopters are usually reserved for the male sex, but with this sleek parrot ar drone you can have fun with this new fashion accessory. Equipped with mini-cams you can aerial record anything and everything. Keep the snooping down to a minimum because… well… it’s not nice to pry.



So sleek. So tiny. So... 3D?



 

#6 Lytro Light Field Camera

 

So this one is 10 degrees of awesome and expensive, which means it's cool, right? Not really. What makes this lytro cool is the ability to take 3D pictures from the standard 2D pics. That alone is pretty neat, but then you can refocus the angle of the shot after you taken the picture. See, the lytro captures all of the light fields instead of a single field of light which basic cameras capture. For the Dianna Agronites, here is your ultimate photo gadget. Check the prices!

Upgraaaaade!

#7 Jump Drive Edge DiskGO SuperSpeed 3.0

 

As a nice follow up to the lytro camera and for the business focused Prissy Girl, here is a silly take on the jump drive that comes from the old, genuine 3mm film canisters. To add a bit of quirky to your daily coffee, this USB flash drive holds 4GB of data which contains a whole bunch more memories than the original film. Plus, these are recycled. You can't go wrong with recycling.

 

Check the link for quirky and fun flash drives



Gotcha, Bitch!

 #8 Smile for the camera!

 

For the bond girl in all of us or perhaps the snoopy girl in all of us, this next gadget is one of my uber faves! It's a smiley-face-button-camera! What the cheese puffs!? You can get all sorts of super spy with this button that captures 60 minutes of video, stills and records sound. This makes me want to be a P.I. and catch people stealing cats and stuff. Don't worry about batteries, this fun little smile charges with a usb and holds all data on a micro-SD card.

 

You're tellin me!

 

#9 Solar Power Spinning Globe

To make sure you're never without global thinking, this cool concept keeps the world turning. For us green minded Prissy Girls this spinning globe is solar powered and, depending on which one you get, can get you out of bed. This totally kicks the ass of my lame stationary globe.

!!!!Bonus!!!  Chic Helmet 

 

This next one isn’t really a gadget, but it is necessary for a few of us Prissy Girls. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen girl cyclist after girl cyclist wearing big bulky plastic head gear while cruising down the road avoiding cars like Frogger. Is this some sort of ritual that guarantees happiness and freedom? If not, I have no idea why someone would voluntarily take up this as a hobby, but to each their own. To help out my mobile sisterhood, check the link for chic helmets. Some are really nice and denim, plus protect your head… which is the main goal afterall.

 

 Beck old school "Where It's At" music video for your viewing pleasure.

 

Check the links for cool accessories for your iApple stuff.

Covers in general

Charging Docks

Alarm Clock

Camera Lense

Music

 

Coming Soon: Prissy Girl's Guide to NFL Playoffs