For generations, centuries and decades, us Prissy Girl's had little choice in seeing our astounding heroine sisters dressed up in skin tight, breast bearing, leg showing, latex fashion faux pas. Wonder Woman's accessories are awesome without a doubt, but the costume is more patriotic transvestite and less Amazonian woman. Sure Halle Berry was ripped in Catwoman, but were the cut up leather pants necessary? Luckily for us, the team at Crystal Dynamics is ahead of the exploitation curve.
If you look closely you can see the tape.
Today the new Lara Croft: Tomb Raider hit the shelves in badass, bowhunting glory. Set on a seemingly desserted island consumed with peril, Lara Croft takes us on a journey that we can actually relate to without double Ds bounding into every frame. Her outfit does not have shiny bracelets, cut up leather, bursting cleavage and daisy dukes. The focus remains on the plot and growth of Lara Croft rather than eye candy, which isn't always a necessity to be entertaining... so they say.
Catniss Everdene on Crack
The harmonic tune between capturing the badass and beauty of Lara Croft is enjoyable from the trailers, demos, and posters. You can taste the dread before you even play the game, bringing a whole new element to the table. I can only be excited for the journey this game can take us down. And if you're new to video gaming, this sets the bar pretty high.
Story lines are becoming ever more prominent in the video game industry. Perhaps the reputation of Grand Theft Auto was too much for the entertainment industry to bear and decided to leave the hardcore gore to the movies that last for only 2 hours instead of days. So much the better. There are better alternatives like first person shooter and racing games. We can connect with the characters and have a real experience, which at a price of about $60, the games better take D batteries.
Bringing class to the console.
If you are new to the gaming world or a bit intimidated by Xbox, check out my previous blog "Prissy Girl's Guide to Video Games Part 1" and see how easy video games actually are. Whether you are elite or n00b status, Lara Croft is an excellent game for us Prissy Girl's to get our feet wet.
For an extra prissy twist, check out Prissy Girl on Pinterest for some Tomb Raider party ideas including the Tomb Raider drink and cookies. If there's any woman that can make me feel like I belong in the kitchen, it's Lara Croft. I'll leave the adventuring and gun play to her. This will be a great game to get together with your girlfriends and dominate.
To Booty Call or to Not Booty Call? The Prissy Girls Guide to a New Relationship Valentine's Day
Cupid vs Al Capone results
How Cliche. A girls guide to Valentine's Day. This post can be seen 42.5 miles away (68.3 Kilometers). This day of lovers was born from martyrdom, raised in back door romances and immortalized for Al Capone and Cupid. With such a reputation, how does one stack up? And, what if, the man of the hour hasn't even been around for a full rotation? Is a nice, expensive dinner too much? Should we get a new negligee for a booty call? So we, In-Between Prissy Girls, don't drink the poinson due to short sightedness, here are a few ideas to keep us in the 'whatever works' zone this Valentine's Day.
Wisdom from the most unlikely places.
First things first, you will have no worries as long as you follow what you want to do. If you want to get him a nice watch and not expect anything in return, get him one. If you want to have a nice dinner because you love swordish, then have a nice dinner. But... if you don't want to do anything except spend some tme with him, you may need a back up gift just in case he gets you one.
1. Movies
Best looking ugly guy I have ever seen
This year is very kind for in-betweeners. For one, James Bond: Skyfall came out on blu-ray this Tuesday. This is an awesome gift for yourself and for the man in your life. Imagine meeting up with him and he has earrings, flowers, or a gift card and you pull out James Bond...No contest. You win that gift-off for sure. For another, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and Mama scary movies are out this February. Knowing these movies times might save your hind from embarrassment or awkwardness this Valentine's weekend.
2. Gift Cards
Someone is very proud of their ugly sweater.
I am a huge fan of gift cards. Don't try to guess what size sweater I wear and include a receipt. If its not ugly, its the wrong size and all you've done is limit my spending. I know the thought should count, but sentimental value doesn't hold much water with me. So for a safe bet, gift cards are awesome. I would recommend getting Amazon, Starbucks, ITunes, or Best Buy gift cards. Couple this with a funny card and viola. You have an awesome, inexpensive back up gift that you can use yourself in case you don't end up exchanging gifts.
3. Activities
So this is what Molly Ringwald is up to.
Going to a local show is awesome (tickets are cheap, if not free at a bar) and there's a lot less pressure to focus on each other. Not only that, dancing halps us Prissy Girls know what we're working with physically, if we don't know already. Another fun activity that takes the pressure off but also leaves opportunity for some alone time is Lazer Tag. Nothing really beats dominating a course in a rain of lazer beams. You can also show your sporty competitive side if it regularily hidden.
Cupid is kind of a god. Sorry, Capone.
The biggest tip is to not fret about V-day activites for your new relationship. You're always out to have fun and no one says Valentine's Day is the milestone for determining the boundaries of your relationship. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be prepared, however. With more women taking over the reins of our own lives, knowing what we want is ever important. Enjoy spending time with your special someone this Valentines Day and how long they've been that special someone doesn't matter.
Is there more to American football than beefy guys in tights? Lets find out!
Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.
Squeeze squeeze!
Squeeze!
Squeeze!
Mini squeeze
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeze!
Double squeeze.
Plop.
I could post these pics all day long, but alas, there is content. Now that the National Football League has come up for air from a floundering start to the season, the playoffs are in full swing and a sight to see among other things... By now the hardcore football fans show up and mostly show-off their knowledge of stats and how they think the playoffs will play out. To help us Prissy Girl's feel like we're not in ancient Sumeria, here is a (hopefully) comprehensive guide to the NFL Playoffs of 2013.
Here is where it all blossoms from.
For one, it's always a trip to have the playoffs at the beginning of a new year. I had to switch up the thought process and realize, yes, the NFL Playoffs begin with the new year even though the regular season was the previous year. Gotcha. No Problem. But what does "seed" mean? Perhaps I should start from the beginning.
Sumerian cuneiform for "Superbowl"
The American NFL is compiled of 32 teams. These 32 teams battle it out to win the coveted Superbowl Championship title and a huge ass diamond ring the size of my big toe. The teams are broken up into two sets of 16. These are called conferences. Cleverly, they are named American Football Conference (AFC for short) and National Football Conference (NFC).
I thought the answer was 42?
Each conference is then even futher apportioned into 4 divisions. These divisions are dubbed North, South, East, and West to keep everything less confusing. Keeping with lucky number 4, the 16 teams in the conference are evenly distributed to each division so a total of 4 teams are in either the North division, South division, East and West. Usually the teams are put in a division that matches where they play regionally.
Regional hate has never looked so beautiful.
After the regular season, 12 teams from the entire NFL have proven themselves to be the better players and proceed to eliminate each other one by one until the last tightly clad team standing is declared the victor. To be one of these 12 teams, you must be the winner of your division.
"Winning is everything." - Feline Marshall
Six teams from each conference (AFC and NFC) are selected to make up the lucky 12. Since there are four divisions in each conference, the leaders of each divisions get an automatic spot in the playoffs. Then, each of the teams are ranked based on percentages and this ranking is called "seeding." This can be sticky as if there are two really great teams in the same division, only one gets to go, but with the "wild card" rule, both may get a chance to compete in the superbowl. With 4 playoff spots already claimed by the leaders of each division, the next two teams with a valuable win-loss record get to be in the playoffs.
Kings. They're WILD!
Now, here comes the fun part. The teams battle it out bracket style in a winner take all elimination. The first weekend is dubbed "Wild Card" weekend in which the wild card ticket holders compete against the 3rd and 4th seeds. The winner of these games then go against the 1st and 2nd seed for a place in the conference championship. The two remaining teams in the conference hike, punt, pass and tackle their way to win the conference title.
Each conference follows the same structure with two teams left in the NFL, but only one can win. In struts the Superbowl. In all of it's commercial and half-time glory, the Superbolw has remained the staple of winter joy in America. A fat man in a jolly red suit doesn't even stack up to the tight-wearing athletes and hard hitting joy.
This won't go down easy.
So far the playoffs have been surprising, heart breaking and knightly. I can only expect the same from the "big-game." I might snek in a few hot wings and nachos. For some extra entertainment, this years half time show is courtesy of Beyonce (post Blue Ivy) as well as some very funny commercials. Regardless, us Prissy Girl's can have a great time watching the game even without understaing how the teams got there. Check the links below for some funny superbowl commercials.
My closest friends wouldn’t describe me as a gadgety person. In the last 10
years I have had two phones and the same old laptop since high school. My
boyfriend, on the other hand, has been the happy owner of two lap tops, a
tablet, and a few smart phones in the last three years. Maybe it’s because
secretly (or overtly) every man wishes they were Batman or James Bond taking out villains, bedding women and doing super spy stuff. Then reality jerks them back only to tell them "Hey. You're not an orphan billionaire."
Leg up.
Fight
scenes and storylines aside, James Bond and Batman are badass because
these tormented fellows have been portrayed as superheroes by the likes of Sean
Connery, Val Kilmer, Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney, Daniel Craig and Christian
Bale. Whether it’s a 3 piece suit or bat costume, sexy is sexy. To help us
Prissy Girls get a leg up on gadgets and the men who buy them, here is a top
ten list of gadgets for 2012.
(Side note: Because computers, smart phones, ebooks, and apple products are so in our face, I've decided to not include them and go a bit more quirky route).
I enjoy
running. Nothing says good morning like the sound of crunching sand and leaves
under my feet as the sun slowly wakes up over the horizon. Because I love
running, the Motorola Motoactv speaks to me (imagine the voice of the Kool-Aid
pitcher with a bit of Peter-Pan). This awesome piece of workout attire provides tunes and blue tooth
capabilities on my arm, which means that I can keep my cell phone and iPod
at home without feeling naked or like I can’t get in touch with someone if I
need to. Along with playing tunes and recommending playlists, this grandiose
timepiece tracks your physical fitness goals. Which is awesome when I want to feel bad about my progress. Sure it’s large and in your face,
but I wouldn’t wear it on a date or to a company dinner. It’s water proof and
sweat resistance nature further solidifies this technical nugget as a must have
for the fitness conscious Prissy Girl.
That was a good drum break.
#2Turntable ION iLP (a not so dead conveyor)
If you live life according to Beck, having two turntables
and a microphone is where its at. And honestly, I have to agree. Because of the
turntable we have been able to produce synthesizers, baselines and even further
advances in musical technology that I have yet to discover. Besides, about
99.2% of people think music sounds better on vinyl (I totally made up that
figure, but it sounds good). This featured ION iLP, combines old with the new
allowing you to convert vinyl to your iPod. Perhaps one of the few
versatile electronics that actually works with Apple products. In that spirit,
click the link for a few modern twists on the classic turntables for the
musically gifted Prissy Girl.
Don't know why I'm adding a caption. The sticker says it all.
I have an old school Camelbak with a hose leading from a
pouch and delivers delicious liquid into my pie hole to quench my thirst. This camelback has been with me on many
adventures and nights out (camelbaks are awesome for pre-gaming). With this in
mind, it hurts to think of upgrading it to the totally awesome purification
water bottle. This Camelbak All Clear uses UV rays to purify almost all water.
Don’t even think/joke about purifying your waste in the hardest of times. That’s
just gross and it won't work. This is even a great option for work as it purifies tap water as well as clear natural water sources. For us outdoorsy Prissy Girls, this is a must
have for the trail.
Even if I wanted to hear you, I can't
#4Coverage Headrockers ®
Whenever I see someone walking around with full coverage head phones, I can't help but think of Spaceballs when Princess Vespa removes her braid ear muffs. Its a shame most people look ridiculous when they wear full coverage headphones as it is a bit over the top. This is a bit shameful as I'm definitely from the all over ear cover headphones and hip huggers generation. I was happy when head phones upgraded from tiny ear buds to padded ear muffs. These highlighted blingphones are sure to get the point across "You like music." I haven't found a way yet to prevent headphone head, but check the link for options that can double up as a hairband.
The pic says it all!
#5Parrot AR Drone 2.0
Now this little gadget is for the still young at heart
Prissy Girl. Remote control cars and helicopters are usually reserved for the
male sex, but with this sleek parrot ar drone you can have fun with this new
fashion accessory. Equipped with mini-cams you can aerial record anything and
everything. Keep the snooping down to a minimum because… well… it’s not nice to
pry.
So this one is 10 degrees of awesome and expensive, which means it's cool, right? Not really. What makes this lytro cool is the ability to take 3D pictures from the standard 2D pics. That alone is pretty neat, but then you can refocus the angle of the shot after you taken the picture. See, the lytro captures all of the light fields instead of a single field of light which basic cameras capture. For the Dianna Agronites, here is your ultimate photo gadget. Check the prices!
As a nice follow up to the lytro camera and for the business focused Prissy Girl, here is a silly take on the jump drive that comes from the old, genuine 3mm film canisters. To add a bit of quirky to your daily coffee, this USB flash drive holds 4GB of data which contains a whole bunch more memories than the original film. Plus, these are recycled. You can't go wrong with recycling.
For the bond girl in all of us or perhaps the snoopy girl in all of us, this next gadget is one of my uber faves! It's a smiley-face-button-camera! What the cheese puffs!? You can get all sorts of super spy with this button that captures 60 minutes of video, stills and records sound. This makes me want to be a P.I. and catch people stealing cats and stuff. Don't worry about batteries, this fun little smile charges with a usb and holds all data on a micro-SD card.
To make sure you're never without global thinking, this cool concept keeps the world turning. For us green minded Prissy Girls this spinning globe is solar powered and, depending on which one you get, can get you out of bed. This totally kicks the ass of my lame stationary globe.
This next one isn’t really a gadget, but it is necessary for a few of us Prissy
Girls. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen girl cyclist after girl
cyclist wearing big bulky plastic head gear while cruising down the road
avoiding cars like Frogger. Is this some sort of ritual that guarantees
happiness and freedom? If not, I have no idea why someone would voluntarily
take up this as a hobby, but to each their own. To help out my mobile
sisterhood, check the link for chic helmets. Some are really nice and denim,
plus protect your head… which is the main goal afterall.
Beck old school "Where It's At" music video for your viewing pleasure.
Check the links for cool accessories for your iApple stuff.
Video games. Video games. Video Games. Either they mean the
world to you ^like this kid^ or you just don’t care. Regardless,
they are forcefully present in our modern world and are responsible for lapses
in time and, perhaps, put need to do tasks on the back burner. For us Prissy
Girls this means adapting, if we are not already into the video game world, to
find a style that fits us best.
Boys don't stand a chance.
Most of us
have a past with video games from childhood and enjoying games like Super MarioBros., Donkey Kong Country, or various others on our Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo,GameCube for the unfortunate, and Nintendo 64. But unless we really got involved
with Xbox and Playstation, it was easy to miss the boat on where video games
are headed to now. In case your thumbs are a bit rusty, here are a few games to
get you back in the swing of aaa,bb,ab,a,bb,c,b, combos.
Get to 12 Million if you can.
Whether you
have an Xbox live account or not, you can still access some awesome games for
not a lot of coin. Set in an infinite universe where neon, raving figures try to
invade your space and ultimately kill you with one touch, Geometry Wars: RetroEvolved is a barrel of fun and doesn’t cost much. It’s considered an arcade
game and it is killer fun to play alone or with a girlfriend – PLUS. There is
something nostalgic about this brain child from Bizarre Creations (fare thee well). I have been
known to toss a few beverages back and kill a few shapes for hours when I
should have been doing other productive things, like catching up on my OnceUpon a Time.
From one crasher to another.
For those
of us old school Prissy Girls, modern video games just have too much
unnecessary content. There are tiers and classes to excel in; weapon and
firearm customization and selection; base points and whatever the hell comes
next. What happened to just kicking the crap out of some baddies and rescuing
the hot princess? Not all is lost with the totally awesome and old school feel of
Castle Crashers. This is an awesome modern blend of a fun story line and
graphics, but a very simple concept – PLUS. Thank the lord for Tom Fulp and DanPaladin’s creativity to bring us this tubular time capsule. Of all the games
mentioned in this blog, Castle Crashers is one of the better to springboard to
more advanced games like Assassin’s Creed, Borderlands, WOW, and Halo (New Halo
4 set to drop Nov. 6th).
Bing. Bing. Bing-Bing.
For the
uber old school Prissy Girl, there is one game that blows all the others out of
the water. May I introduce Pinball Arcade? If no, tough, I’m going to anyway
because no one can resist the childhood joy of hearing that pinball bounce from
bumper to bumper and the evil loser tune that haunts you when you tank a ball.
This electronic version of the pinball classic is a great way to have fun and
learn the controllers exceptionally well – PLUS. Also, you can select from four
different pinball machines depending on your Prissy Girl preference from sexy
mystery to space confusion.
Kinect. Meet your father.
I see you
I love my
Kinect for Xbox 360. I, admittedly, don’t play it as much as I should or want
to, but I’ve never felt more satisfied after getting a work out. The Kinect is
for every style of Prissy Girl: Star Wars for the Nerdy Prissy Girls. DanceCentral for the Clubbanging Prissy Girl (the moves aren’t as stupid as you’d
think), but especially if you’re the Athletic Prissy Girl. You can practice
Yoga, Tai Chi, and other work outs – PLUS. The Kinect resembles #5 from ShortCircuit and even moves eerily similar. So messing with the Kinect itself is
kinda fun. I recommend it.
I just reached ultimate gallactic empire status in 10 hours. What'd you want?
These are just a few games to get you back on the videogame
bandwagon, if Wreck-It-Ralph doesn't do it for you. You would be surprised how much more brain filling it is to solve
puzzles and push your last score than it is to flip through fashion magazines
looking at clothes you’d never wear. It doesn’t hurt to expand your
horizons and surprise yourself. Still, it would be a shame to deny yourself of much
needed girl time. So, like anything, videogame in moderation.
Origin of the BOOMSHAKALAKA (who would have known it would be from this guy):
Marv frickin Albert
Check the links for the following retro and completely
awesome video games:
Oh the holidays. How do I love thee? And may I give a
special shout-out to Halloween. Born from Pagan traditions, this holiday above
all others brings out the joy of childhood and understanding of our own
morality. Plus, if we Prissy Girls keep it conservative most of the time, here
is a chance to let a little hang out. To me, Halloween is the official kick-off
to the holiday season and signifies the value of traditions. There are parties
to look forward to, new recipes to try out, fun games to play, family to make
fun of, and overall goodness.
Before being half eaten by wild dogs.
I have dedicated many man power hours to the research of
parties and there are a few fail safes I have in place to make sure I have a
great time. When I disregard these fail safes, I end up porcelain hugging,
ridiculously hung over the next day, or finding a solution to a particular
personal confrontation. We’ve all been there. We’ve all had a little too much
fun. But with the holiday season, our party group isn’t limited to people who
know our inside jokes and inner most secrets. There are company parties and
in-laws to consider. To help all of the Prissy Girl’s hold on to our heads this
season, and not pull a Bridget Jones, here are a few of my fail safes.
I bet his chiropractor is very rich.
#1- Drink the night before the party.
If you haven’t had
alcohol in a while, this will buffer you up and make you feel like you don’t
have to let loose so much at the party. Regulate your intake by the following
suggestions for your type of alcohol preference (try the Skinny Girl options below):
Plus, this also helps you understand your alcohol meter.
Knowing the moment you are buzzed allows you to pinpoint it again the
night of the party. Then you can keep that buzz with a balance of water and
alcohol. Because you had a few drinks the night before, make sure you hydrate
very well the day of the party.This
does two things. One, it helps your body process the alcohol quicker; down side
you’ll break the seal earlier. Two, you’ll continue to drink more water at the
party and drink alcohol a lot less but still feel loose and energized.
Don't they know to never aim for the eye?
#2- Change of clothes.
One of the fun parts about the
holidays is picking out what you’re going to wear. From new dresses to hot costumes, our fashion minds get a bit overloaded. As it goes with any party keep
a spare change of clothes in your car or at the very least a spare pair of
underware, shirt and bikini. You never know when a house has a pool or if somehow
something spills on you, you’re set with a change of clothes. I am a huge
advocate for driving yourself to a party and have a DD home or if the party is
at a good friend’s house, then stay the night. This allows me to bring an over
night bag that holds all my necessities. Hmm… sounds like a soap opera.
I think farts are
hysterical, but not if you’re in mid convo with a cute guy or trying to drop it
low on the dance floor. Then they’re
embarrassing like the Brad Pitt Chanel No. 5 commercial and hysterical, but
better to avoid flatulence at all costs. We can't all be as cute as the kitten. Beano also helps with body functions
the morning after a night of drinking - PLUS.
Sometimes going where everyone knows your name isn't such a good thing.
I always feel better and more relaxed knowing I’m prepared
for most of the unlikely situations and have more fun. Holidays are for cheer
and joyous occasions, not regrets and downtrodden behavior. But, we all like to have fun and if we so need it, the best hang over cure is a big bowl of Pho. Thank tuxedo Jesus for Pho! Make each holiday
one for the books in Prissy Girl style. Even with the pressures of life, if you
prepare and have back-up plans for whatever you do, you will be able to smile
bigger; laugh louder; and see clearer. Cheers!
